Punishing Myself (Janine)

[Anya Kandice (Ozera)]

It had been weeks since she had cut and she had promised more than two three guardians she wouldn't do it but when she got right down to it she couldn't help herself. She closed her eyes githly as she ran the blade on her wrists it hurt, but that as the point. She was cutting not because she liked it she certainly didn't enjoy it or anything but because she had failed oh yes, she had unfortunately met up with her step younger sister not that long ago and she had tried to drown her for abandoning her parents.

She sighed as she bled and she wiped the blood with a paper toweel that hurt worse. She pulled down her red sleeves saved for this occasion and she hoped that the blood did not soak through. She just stayed there until she put her head against one of the filing cabinets and than she passed out from being tired, the cut of course was not helping matters.

[Guardian Janine Hathaway]

Guardian Hathaway was walking down the hallways where the classroom's were. She was looking for Anya, who was somewhere in the area, but she wasn't sure where she was. She didn't know what she would do about Anya, and what happened the last time they met up. She wasn't in a good mood, to go looking for her. She wanted to scream but she kept her cool, as she was supposed to do, in her all of her years working, this was the hardest thing she ever had to do.

If it was Rose who was doing this she would give her a long hard lecture but with Anya it was different it wasn't like she was her kid. Janine couldn't just go and scream and yell at her to get her to understand that it was dangerous and hazardous to her health. She finally looked into a room, and there she was cutting herself, she waited till she leaned against the filing cabinet, when Janine came through the door. "Anya Kandice!" she said in a stern voice, with question and looked at her and walked over to her and pulled her up to her feet. "You said no more, yet here you are again" she said to her.

[Anya Kandice (Ozera)]

She looked up. "Guardian Hathaway" she choked. She nearly dropped the knife but at the last minute had stuffed it into her pocket. She had promised her, she had promised again, more than two people she would not pull this crap again. She tried to explain herself, soemthing she hadn't done the last time. "Do you think I want to cut Guardian Hathaway?" she asked as she pulled her hair out of her eyes. "nevermind don't answer that, of course I don't...it hurts, I'm bleeding and I feel dizzy afterward, but I can't help this...any more than I can help being a guardian" she hoped to God that the woman would not figure out what was wrong with her. After all, she wasn't the first spirit user to cut, but again, as far as everyone knew she was not a royal and she was not a spirit user she was a guardian which meant she had no excuse to be pulling this stunt only if they knew the truth.

She wondered how Janine had found her for all anyone had known she could have been at court unless someone she knew had sent her although she could not imagine who would do that. Was it Alberta? she hoped to Goddess not.